Kitchen Scars: Wear Them Proudly

Today I’m at the office wearing a shirt dress and heels (Brian Atwood, if you must know) and I have a very un-ladylike wound on the front of my shin. I met my friend Vicki for coffee this morning, who took one look at my leg and said, “You look like a clutz. Or a tomboy. Go home and put on some slacks.”

But the wound is from a kitchen mis-hap, and I wear it proudly. I was baking a pie this past weekend (wearing a pencil skirt and heels of course, only they were Burberry) and in a moment of distraction, I leaned up against the open oven door and pressed my shin against the 300-degree metal. Ouch! Ow-weee! It really hurt. I propped myself up on the couch and rubbed my leg with ice cubes for the rest of the afternoon.

But this is just one of the many hazards we face in the kitchen. Neither flames nor knives nor scalding hot water will stop us. And it isn’t just the love of food that drives us, it’s the creation of food, isn’t it?

Six years ago, my parents gave me what would become my most prized and oft-used kitchen gadget: a Cuisinart food processor. (I’m sure you know where this story is going.) I carefully removed each part from the packaging and hand-washed the bowl and the blades. I set all the pieces on the counter to admire them, then practiced fitting them together and taking them apart. Finally, I pulled a carrot out from the fridge and gave the unit a trial-spin. And that’s when I almost cut my thumb off.

I spent the rest of that afternoon in the emergency room and ended up with three stitches.

I’ve been sliced and burned a thousand times over. I’ve shown up to parties with icing in my hair and flour on my forehead. Today, I’m walking around the office in designer heels with a gash across the front of my shin. But does this stop me?

Just remember this: The only thing sexier than a girl in heels is a girl who wears them in the kitchen.

(Brian Atwood, by the way, is a shoe designer with about the sexiest website you’ve ever seen. Check him out here. But where, oh where, is his fall collection? If anyone out there knows what happened to Brian, e-mail me.)